In case I forget.


It’s a wonder I don’t drink.
August 20, 2007, 12:02 am
Filed under: Counselor A, Dr. Neuro B, Dr. PCP, Mental Health, RX, Seizure

Since July. I look at that little icon over there and think, man, I need to update this. But I keep putting it off. First I think – I don’t know how to put it all down. Then I think, eh I’ll be lazy today.

So I caved – I went back on the Lexapro. And I caved – I went back to Counselor A. The Lexapro is helping which somehow pisses me off a little bit. I’ve still got those razor blades and I still look at them but I am able to have this cognitive discussion that says “Hey, dummy”.

I had a couple of emails back and forth with Dr. PCP about a couple of things. He sent me the newest Lamictal levels and the report had the HIV report on it. Wrote back to him and said I didn’t know what the report meant but that I was guessing it meant negative? He said “Oh – yeah. It’s negative.” I told him that maybe that was the most important thing and he should have addressed it first. I love the man but HEY!

I’ve just avoiding writing what is going to happen in October.

I saw Dr. Neuro B at the first of July. The seizures had gotten a lot worse at 900mg and the tremor in my hands was bad. Dr. Neuro B said the tremor was from the high dose of Lamictal. He said to drop the Lamictal back down to 600mg, which is where I was when I had the best control. So I went straight down – no titration. And he added Topamax. So I ramped up on that. After about three weeks on that I was falling asleep at my desk in the afternoon and Diet Coke tasted like ass. I could have lived with both of those if it had gotten rid of the seizures but if really had no effect whatsoever. So I talked to Dr. Neuro B and he said to step down. I have one more week and then I’m off of it. The good news is that the tremor is gone and I had my first Diet Coke in weeks today; MAN it tasted yummy.

The bad news is that in July he flat out told me that if I was still having seizures in October that it was clear that medication wasn’t going to do it and that we would have to talk about alternatives. We all know what that means. 72 hour EEG. VNS? Brain mapping? More horrible? What? Me? Stress????

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2 Comments so far
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I just wanted to say that I found your blog as I was searching on google for information about Lamictal, and after reading your “why” and seeing the visuals, I was profoundly touched (I am not one of those people who generally spends hours online, and I’ve never really read “blogs” before). I have gone back to the beginning of yours, though, at least to the beginning of what you started writing, and have been reading it all. I truly have no words for how deeply I feel for your situation. I hope the driver of the pickup was punished severely for this, if anything, at least financially. I hope you are able to find some peace, you sound like such an intelligent, strong person. More courage is required for you to get through one of your days than most of the rest of us have in us, period. I hope you keep writing! I am bookmarking this.
all my good thought go out to you right now. <3

Comment by ioana

Oh man – Ioana – you are too kind. I very much appreciate your thoughtful comment. I wish the driver of that truck had been punished, also. If he had killed me he would have been charged with manslaughter. Since he only traumatically injured me, caused brain damage, and changed my life forever, he got a ticket for running a red light.

Comment by incaseiforget




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