In case I forget.


How high can she go?
May 21, 2007, 12:27 am
Filed under: Dr. Neuro A, Fear, Mental Health, Neuro, RX, Seizure

As of today, she can go to 800mg.

At 700mg, things were not good. At 600mg the seizures had dropped so much that some days I actually forgot I have them. When I saw Dr. Neuro A he was pleased by this but since I am still having them he said to continue to up the dosage. He said that since so much progress had occurred that we didn’t need to talk about hospitalizing me. This made me VERY happy. I joked with him that it  might not be the drug but rather since the last time I saw him when he talked about hospitals and surgery that maybe he had just scared the crap out of me and that made the seizures better. He laughed and said he doubted that because he had just come from a guy in another exam room whom he TRIED to scare the crap out of because the guy won’t quit drinking and won’t accept that his seizures keep getting worse because of that. He said he doesn’t think he’s so good at scaring the crap out of people.

So he raised me to 700mg and it almost immediately started getting worse. Now, four weeks in, it’s getting pretty bad again. The strength and the frequency have increased a lot. He said that if the seizures hadn’t gone away in a month to up it to 800mg. So I did that starting today. I can’t tell you how badly I need 800mg to work. If it doesn’t, I know that when I see him in two months that he will want to put me in the hospital. It isn’t that I’m afraid of a 48 hour EEG. It’s that I’m afraid that when it’s done he’ll say “Hey lets talk about cutting your brain open!” or maybe even worse, honestly, he’ll say “Hey I don’t know what the hell to do at this point and I think you’re just never going to get better, and probably will continue to get worse. Have a nice day!”

I’ve started back at work part time and in about six weeks I’ll start full time. I swear. If all this had to happen I wish it could have happened during the six months I wasn’t working. That’s all I need. To have to go into the hospital and maybe have brain surgery right after I start a new job. “Hi. I’m so happy to be working here! Now I’m going to take a couple of months off to let some guy diddle around in my temporal lobe. See ya! But save my desk, OK?”

Here’s to 800mg. All my fingers and toes are crossed.

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