In case I forget.

Not this again.
November 7, 2006, 2:27 am
Filed under: Dr. PCP, Fear, Husband, Mental Health, Seizure

The burping is worse. For over a week now. I’m in the 50% range. The confusion is coming back. The frustration. The fear – big time. I’m starting to have trouble reading again. I have no motivation to do anything. I’m just not doing very well.

I go see my PCP again tomorrow. I want to tell him all of this, but I won’t. It’s not his responsibility and lord knows he’s already dealt with enough of my crisis state already. I’ll let him stick me for blood work for TSH and Ha1c. I won’t tell him my back still hurts pretty damned badly. I won’t tell him about the pain in my foot. I won’t tell him the cloud of doom is back, following me around like a three legged puppy. When he asks how I’m doing I’ll tell him the truth – that I’ve been a hell of a lot worse. I know this sounds stupid but…I feel like when I see him all I do is complain and feel sorry for  myself. I’m not telling my husband about all of this either. He obviously knows the burping is getting worse but the other stuff I can hide from him. He’s got enough pressure with his promotion and me not working. I just feel lost.

I don’t think the Lamictal is working. I think it’s stopping again. Not like it did last time, just overnight, but slowly. I’m not looking for a job. With the burping this bad I don’t know if I could get through an interview, much less be at work eight hours a day and not be humiliated. I’m just not doing well at all these days.


2 Comments so far
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Dear In Case I Forget.

A quick suggestion – why don’t you print your posting out and take it along tomorrow? Sometimes it’s too hard to verbalize the things we need to say when we’re face-to-face.

I came across your site by total accident. I’d googled a health question and your site was one of the results.

I was astounded by your courage in starting this blog and think it was brilliant of you to start this high-tech dispersal of information. So many people will benefit by your postings!

My husband had MS and suffered through many brain-scarring issues, in his reasoning and his perceptions. He died of an unrelated congenital blood problem, but not before I developed a sympathy for people dealing with cognitive issues. He also had lots of problems with medications, both dosage levels and incorrectly prescribed meds.

Keep fighting! Keep up with your records for dealing with the medical health insurers – they are very tricky!

I sincerely hope your issues will be successfully resolved by your physicians.

With best wishes,

Iris Schindel

Comment by Iris Schindel

Iris thank you for your very kind words. My deepest sympathy for the loss of your husband. I’ve known only one person with MS and was astounded by the suffering, both physical and emotional that person was faced with. I appreciate your suggestion – I did in fact end up pouring it all out to my PCP – he has a way of sitting in front of me (inbetween me and the door) and just looking at me until I break. He would make a great police interrogator!! :)

Comment by In Case

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