In case I forget.

Two years down.
August 23, 2006, 6:10 pm
Filed under: Brain Bits, Fear, Seizure

Two years ago, at this same time of day, I was sitting in my first Miata, blocking traffic. There was a pick-up truck turned upside down and laying on top of me. Firemen were cutting me out of my dear car with loud, heavy power tools and a helicopter was waiting to fly me to what I thank God is one of the best trauma departments in the country. Or so they tell me. My memory stops well before that moment and doesn’t start again until much later.

TWO YEARS? And it’s still this living, breathing thing in my life. Until about five months ago, really we thought it was going to be over with. We thought: one more surgery and we can look at long term good.

If the last surgery went well, we were going to look at camping again. And the wildest maybe? M-a-y-b-e I could sail again. Maybe we could buy another boat. Because this will all be behind us. The doctors, the drugs, the pain and stress, the lawyers would be gone, no more wasted vacation days in hospitals and MRI machines.

And then that all changed. Then it wasn’t about my bones anymore. Suddenly, shockingly, stunningly, it became about my brain. Just when I though it was going to become about life again, not more of the same burt actually worse because it will now NEVER I said n-e-v-er be over.

Two years. I was thinking two years wasn’t a bad trade off for what they cut me out of that day. For what they flew to the hospital, for what they did to save me. Two years? I could do two years. But forever? How am I supposed to deal with that? Forever??


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